To Please The Monster Inside [Carlisle/Jasper][Chapter 35: Final Chapter]
Summary: The monster inside Jasper lusts for human blood. When the desire is too strong to resist, there is only one who can help. Carlisle tamed this monster once, and now he must try again.
Jasper took Carlisle hunting, taking down two deer for him and watching him feed.
The house was quiet as they entered. Nobody was in sight and the rooms were dark.
Immediately, Jasper thought of James.
“Carlisle…” Jasper put a hand on the doctor’s forearm, “I don’t sense anything… or anyone. The house is empty.”
“It seems so.” Carlisle’s eyebrows knitter together, his eyes narrowing before he reached into his pocket for his cell phone.
He called Edward.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
As they hurried back out the door, Carlisle informed Jasper of all the things Edward had just told him. James had taken off only half an hour ago without a word. Moments later, Alice had a vision; She saw James take three lives, all right here in Forks. Everyone had gone after him, following his scent. And then his scent had grown very faint, and then it vanished. Alice tried to search for him, but she only saw darkness. It was then that they had realized where they were – barely a meter from the border of the Indian Reservation.
“You know what this means, don’t you?” Carlisle asked gently, not looking at Jasper.
Yes, he knew exactly what it meant. But he wasn’t going to say it out loud. James had unknowingly crossed into wolf territory, with human blood fresh on his lips.
Jasper wasn’t going to kid himself– he had very, very little hope that James was still alive.
“I know what it means, Carlisle.”
Silence. Then, “I’m sorry…” Carlisle said softly.
“Why? It’s not your fault.”
“No, but I meant that I am sorry for what’s happened. I’m sorry because I know you cared for James.”
“Of course you did. Don’t feel ashamed of it. You believed he could be helped, I am proud of you for that. Seeing the potential in somebody, even when they cannot see it themselves, that is a wonderful thing.”
“Well… I’ve learnt from the best.”
Carlisle smiled, reaching over to put a hand on Jasper’s shoulder as they made their way through the forest.
Jasper asked, “Are we meeting up with the others near the reservation?”
“Because we don’t know for sure if James has been killed. Edward is listening for any stray thoughts from the wolves. And Esme is trying to contact Billy Black.”
“Ah, and naturally you want to speak to him and make sure this doesn’t disturb the peace.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Carlisle and Jasper arrived in time to see Billy Black wheeling himself toward the line of trees where the forest began, and where the Cullens’ stood waiting.
Flanking Billy, spread out in a semi circle, were three massive werewolves, their teeth bared and hackles raised.
Carlisle stepped forward, lingering anxiously at the borderline. Jasper moved to his side, filling him with calm. Behind him, Jasper felt the power of the emotions of the rest of his family, and it was all too easy to pick out Edward’s hostility. Focusing entirely on one family member at a time, Jasper did his best to settle their nerves.
Billy stopped a fair distance from them, his face stern but his emotions reasonable.
Before either Carlisle or Billy could speak, Edward said, “James is dead.”
Jasper felt his gut drop. He knew James had been killed. But hearing it out loud, knowing it was a fact, produced the most unpleasant feeling in the pit of his stomach. His focus slipped, and the emotions of every vampire and wolf rushed over him in heated, heavy waves.
Looking behind Billy at the three monstrous animals, Jasper wondered to himself, which one brought him down first? Which one caught him and took him to the ground so that the other two could tear him limb from limb?
From behind, in a voice softer than the wind, Edward whispered, “The one on the right.”
Swallowing hard, Jasper nodded once.
Then, without a sound, the empath turned and walked away, followed, surprisingly, by Alice.
He could hear Carlisle and Billy talking behind him, both forcing themselves to be polite.
Jasper knew Carlisle would talk Billy round, explain the situation and ensure the peace was kept between vampire and wolf.
He didn’t want to stay and hear the conversation, though. It was his fault that any of this was even happening. How much more damage could he do, he wondered. How many more lives could he affect?
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
The walk back to the manor was silent, so silent, in fact, that Jasper found the lack of sound deafening. He heard Alice’s light footsteps a small distance behind, could hear her even breathing, and the rustling of the fabric of her dress as she walked.
He also felt her pain. And it hurt more than ever. So much so that, for a moment, he considered running, running until he could feel her broken heart no more.
But he would not run. Wanted to, needed to, but wouldn’t.
Instead, he would talk to her, if that was what she wanted.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
At home they sat, motionless and uncomfortable, at separate ends of the sofa. Alice with her hands clasped in her lap, and Jasper with his head in his hands.
Alice spoke first. “Are you alright?”
Sighing, Jasper lowered his hands and forced himself to look at her. “Define ‘alright’.”
Alice said nothing.
“I would apologize, for everything. But I don’t think you want an apology, do you?”
“No, Jasper, I don’t.”
“Will you miss him?” She sounded shy.
Jasper considered the question. “… I don’t think so. But… I feel responsible, for his death.”
“Because I brought him here. I – I tried to change him, tried to fit him into a life where he didn’t belong.”
“Then do you regret bringing him back with you?”
“I regret a lot of things, that being one of them.”
“Don’t you think its good, that he is gone?”
“Why would I?”
“He was ruthless, Jasper. He was a murderer. And he was beyond our help – even Carlisle thought so, he just couldn’t bring himself to tell you, because he knew how much you hoped James would change.”
Jasper’s eyes widened momentarily. And then he said, “I hoped, yes, but I know I was stupid to actually believe he ever would. I was desperate, I think. Desperate and scared. And maybe I thought, if I could help James, it would, in some bizarre way, make up for the lives I took…”
“Nothing can make up for that. You killed good people and you enjoyed the thrill of their blood. Its something you must make yourself accept, Jasper. Accept it and forgive yourself for it, otherwise you will probably go crazy.”
Shaking his head, Jasper clenched his teeth, anger rising within him. “How can you all be so forgiving? You’ve seen the things I’ve done, and you just sit there and tell me to accept it! I just had sex with a man, Alice – with our adoptive father. I don’t want to be with you anymore, and… And you’re just sitting there…”
Alice stood up, turning her back to Jasper. She spoke quietly. “What do you want me to do? What do you want any of us to do? Should we be angry? Should we despise you for doing what is natural? Yes, Jasper, you killed and you gave in to your bloodlust – now deal with it! Don’t expect all of us to shout and tell you how terrible you are, just so you can feel as though you have been adequately punished. We are all hurting, you have hurt us all. You’ve hurt me… But I won’t be angry with you, just as the others won’t be – because we love you, and you know, Jasper, in some strange way, we are all proud of you…”
“You came home. You beat the bloodlust and came back to us. And you did it, Jasper, because you are a good man. You couldn’t go on causing death and suffering, and that is because you are not evil. You think you are. In fact, you’ve convinced yourself that you are – but you’re not.”
Silence fell between them again.
Jasper’s thoughts returned to James.
Alice sat back down, staring at the ground. “I want to ask you something. And… you may not want to answer, but I feel that I have the right to ask, at least.”
Breathing in deep, Jasper, too, stared at the ground. “Okay.”
After hesitating, Alice asked, “What was it like with Carlisle?”
Completely frozen by her question, Jasper took several more deep breaths. Then he whispered, “… It was everything I needed. And it made me forget… it made me forget them.”
Alice closed her eyes. “And now, do you remember?”
“No. I have no desire to drink human blood. But I feel as though I have just drunk from many.”
“I don’t understand it.”
“Nor do I. I’m not even sure if Carlisle understands. But it works, so I don’t much care for the technicalities. Alice, I don’t mean to hurt you with these words, but this is all that I’ve ever needed. This is like… like a cure for my hunger. I can get back to life now. I can go back to school. I can go out into the world, and be near humans and smell them and not have to fear killing them.”
After yet another moment’s silence, Jasper said, “Alice, do you remember some time ago, before all of this, you told me that you were seeing the Volturi in your visions? You know, in bits and pieces?
“Do you still see them?”
She shook her head. “I do not.”
“Do you know why?”
“No, I don’t. But I could assume that it is because whatever may have come to pass which would require their attention, is no longer going to happen. And so, I would then assume that it is because you have brought yourself under control.”
“So you think that if I didn’t come back then maybe I would have done something… Something bad enough to bring out the Volturi?”
“It seems the most likely explanation.”
Jasper bit his lip. “Have you seen my future? Do you know what is to become of me?”
Lifting her head, Alice turned now to look Jasper in the eye. “I have seen your future, yes.”
“You will be okay, Jasper. We will all be okay, in time.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
As day rolled around, Jasper became aware of his eagerness to attend school. It was immediately obvious that the others did not think it a good idea.
“Perhaps you should give yourself a day or two, at least?” Esme pleaded with him, her eyes concerned and wide.
“No, I’m no danger to anyone. I don’t know how to explain to you the way I feel. Right now, I have no interest in humans. I won’t hurt them.”
Esme was about to protest when Edward interrupted. “Its okay, mother. I will watch out for him.”
Sighing softly, Esme nodded. “Alright, alright. Just… Well, I just want you to be sure.”
“And I am.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Alice and Rosalie rode to school with Emmett.
Jasper rode with Edward.
The mind reader drove much slower than usual, and Jasper knew it was because he wanted the time to talk.
“Whatever it is that you want to say, Edward, just say it.”
“Very well, I – I wanted to tell you about something. Something that I sensed within you, within your mind, some time ago, before you left with James.” Jasper felt his insides clench at the mention of the hunter’s name. Edward continued, “I was reading your thoughts, and I found something there, a kind of... presence, in the back of your mind. It was like a shadow, and I don’t know if you were aware of it.”
“What was it, then?”
“It was pure evil. It was more cunning and hungry and bloodthirsty than even James. And I believe that when you were with James, the evil within you found something to latch onto, and that is why it was so easy for you to just run away with him.”
“But if that’s so, why did I come back?”
“You know that already. You didn’t like being the bad guy. And you wanted to come home, to your family. You love us, Jasper, and we love you. Love is something not all vampires experience.”
A small smile played on the empath’s lips as he watched Edward. “You love me.” he said, smirking.
“Of course I do.” The mind reader smiled too. “But, back to my point; love can outshine anything, Jasper. And it can certainly rise above evil. You have us, and that is why you couldn’t live your life like James.”
“And this evil, do you still sense it now?”
Edward’s eyes narrowed as he concentrated on the empath’s mind. And then his face broke into a smile and all he said was, “No.”
Jasper nodded, then said, “I was aware of it, you know. I felt it, and it was terrifying. And I can still feel something there, something that’s not quite right. But I don’t think I need to be afraid of it, not with Carlisle…”
“Jasper, could you do me just one favor?”
“Don’t think about fucking Carlisle while I’m around. The whole mind reading thing, you know, it sort of makes me feel… uncomfortable.”
Jasper laughed, a loud, pretty sound Edward hadn’t hear for a very, very long time. “Okay, I’ll try my hardest.”
“It would be appreciated.”
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
After calling the hospital and telling them he could not come in to work that day due to a case of the flu, Carlisle sat down with his wife and held her tight.
Esme relaxed herself against the doctor’s hard chest, head falling onto his shoulder.
Before Carlisle could open his mouth to speak, Esme said, “We don’t need to talk about it. I know what happened with Jasper, and I know why you did it. And I am fully aware that it will happen again. But right now, Jasper is fine and he is at school and you are still my husband and we are alone. Our family is complete again, and we are safe. Let’s not complicate things by trying to explain or make sense of them.”
Running his fingers through her hair, Carlisle placed a kiss atop Esme’s head, inhaling the sweet, flowery scent of her hair. “I love you.” He whispered.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
That night Carlisle and Jasper wandered alone through the forest.
Both were silent, the only sound was that of their footsteps and their breathing.
Finally they stopped moving, coming to a standstill by an ancient, moss-covered tree. Jasper leant against the thick trunk, clutching Carlisle’s upper arm and pulling him close.
“How was school?” Carlisle asked, allowing the length of their bodies to touch.
“Quite wonderful.” Jasper admitted, touching a finger to the doctor’s lips. “I spoke to this boy today, stood right beside him and spoke to him, and not once did I think about eating him!”
Carlisle chuckled, “That is wonderful indeed.”
Author’s Note: Thank you to everyone who read and enjoyed my story, and to those who commented, giving me positive feedback and support.